Thank you for visiting our website.
If you are here then, like us, you have experienced a life changing event with the loss of your child. We are sincerely sorry that this has happened for you and your family.
In May 2016 my family received the heartbreaking news at 13 weeks pregnant, during a routine ultrasound, that our little baby had stopped growing and was measuring at 10 weeks 6 days. Being a missed miscarriage I was able to research and decide what I wanted to do for myself, my family and our lost child.
This led me to find beautiful people over seas who crafted very special products to include caskets and vaults. The comfort and closure our chosen vault gave our family is invaluable and we wanted to make it readily available to families closer to home.
It is with respect and sympathy that we can now offer you and your family these products and trust they will, in some small way, help you with your grief.
- Take pictures of your baby, plenty of families’ years down the track even treasure the blurry photos. Details fade in our memories after time. Even if you don’t feel like right now you need or want to see your baby, future you/partner/child/grandchildren may appreciate this sentiment. Many people later regret not taking pictures and this grief should not be added to with regrets. If your baby was 20 weeks or older there are professional photographers who do this for free. If you’re able to have bub at home (regardless of size), we have a photographer local to Sydney that can capture the tiny details and innocents of your precious angel baby, see ‘supporting business’ page.
- Spend time with your baby. You will never get this time back.
- Create a memory box. Our memory box for Max contains any scans we were able to have of him which includes the scan when we were told he was gone, his vault which has his name and date he was birthed, my hospital bracelet, printed photos (both photos that I took, including the blurry ones and professional photos taken by Hannah) , his recognition of loss certificate.
- If you feel up to it let family members, especially siblings, and even your support circle of friends have the option to see your baby and say goodbye. This can be very beneficial for you as it can help them understand how real your loss is. (regardless of how real it is, some people don’t always realise until faced with it.)
- Don’t be afraid to say what you want for the baby. If you have baby in the hospital and would like to take bubs home, make sure to tell them as soon as you enter the hospital or if an ambulance comes, be sure to tell them you want to keep the baby at home.
- Name your baby and call them by name. Your angel baby will always be your child and DNA will always be a part of you. “The placenta was previously thought to barricade the mother and foetus thus preventing maternal rejection of the fetus. It is now known that during pregnancy some cells traffic from mother to fetus and from fetus to mother. Surprisingly, some mother’s cells can be found in her adult offspring and some cells from the fetus can be found in the mother decades later. Microchimerism (Mc) refers to harboring a small number of cells or DNA from a genetically different individual.”
- Take your time making decisions; think about your future self, you do not want any regrets.
- You can and should set boundaries. People may say “the wrong thing” forgive their ignorance and tell them your boundaries.
- Know that grieving is hard work and it takes time so don’t try and rush it.
- A journal may be worth writing and adding to your memory box. Journaling can release some stress, create memories and promote healing. Listening to music related to loss may help during this process.
- Let others help. Accept meals, help around the house and babysitting. It can be hard enough just to make it through each day. Letting others help you gives them something they can do when they feel helpless.
- Find a support group in your area. Your local hospital and EPAS may have suggestions. There is also SANDS Facebook page for each State, including New Zealand.
- Know that you will always miss your baby but it will not hurt this bad forever. In time you will find your new normal and laugh and have fun again.
- Know that you are not alone. Pregnancy loss is not that unusual. One in four pregnancies is lost in the first trimester. One in thirty-three babies die in the second trimester. One in 130 babies die in the third trimester. There are people who understand how hard this kind of loss is. Try and connect with one of them. Reach out, if you feel you can, even 20+ years later.
- If there is no true risk to your health, do not let anyone rush your decision to end your pregnancy. Missed miscarriages can be carried for several weeks without any adverse effects to the Mum’s health. So with this in mind, take your time and research, choose what you are and aren’t comfortable with having happen to you and your baby. Please educate yourself as much possible.